YOU NO LONGER NEED TO LIVE IN SECRET

Therapy for Uncommon Sexual Attractions

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

You’re attractions bring you distress and confusion.

You don’t know where to turn for help.

When you experience uncommon attractions, such as those labeled as “paraphilic,” you might feel confused, isolated, or even ashamed of your desires. You may worry about how others would react if they knew, leading you to hide this part of yourself, which can create a deep sense of loneliness. These feelings make it difficult to form or maintain relationships, as you fear judgment or rejection from those you care about and hearing how the world talks about “thos people” brings you further fear of accepting this is a part of you and hiding it from everyone. The secrecy and stress of keeping these attractions hidden strain your connections with others, leaving you feeling disconnected, isolated, and misunderstood.

Struggling with uncommon attractions can take a toll on your self-esteem. You start to question your worth, feeling as though you don’t fit in or that something is inherently wrong with you, even though you didn’t choose this attraction. This self-doubt affects how you see yourself, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-worth. It’s challenging to carry these emotions alone, but seeking help feels like a ticket straight to jail — or worse.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You often feel like you are “a monster” and if anyone truly knew what was happening inside of your head, they wouldn’t want to be around you, as what you hear in society about "people like you" makes you believe you should be ashamed of this.

  • You find yourself trying to “talk yourself out” of this attraction, feeling that if you just ignore it, or pretend it isn't there, it will go away. Feels of shame and guilt surface when the attractions don't, in fact, go away and come back again and again.

  • You find yourself more depressed, anxious, or irritated when you think about what you are attracted to and you can’t stop it. You didn't choose to have this attraction but feel responsible for it, in some way.

  • People's harsh words, slurs, and judgements against you have you fearing for your safety, keeping your struggles with the attractions to yourself, as who can you even begin to trust to try and get help? You feel isolated, depressed, anxious, and alone.

You deserve dignity and respect — no matter your attractions.

Sexual attraction is not something fully understood within the sexology field. Unfortunately, this can leave a lot of people (and society) to try and “figure out why” some people are attracted to things that, if acted on, could cause harm and damage to the person it is enacted on. But people who are finding themselves with these attractions are also caught between feelings of “disgust” of having the attraction but then the excitement of it being sexually appealing — not knowing what to do with it or what this means about who they are.

Sex Therapist Jess has worked her entire career with individuals who find themselves with attractions that would fall within the DSM-V’s “paraphilia” section and even has worked with individuals who have committed sexual offenses. She has been successful with helping these individuals who are struggling with understanding the why and what to do about it for many years, by providing a confidential, safe, and non-judgmental space for understanding and growth.

(For the sake of avoiding that others misunderstand this type of treatment, it is important to note that Sex Therapist Jess does not condone any non-consensual sexual act and that helping others understand their attractions and/or behaviors is not condoning what was done — if anything was done — that may have harmed someone. Sexual thoughts and fantasies are not “illegal” and are not an automatic cause for a mandated report.)

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE

Therapy for uncommon attractions can help you:

  • Learn what your attractions mean to you;

  • Remove, or alter, those identified factors in your life that may make you feel worried you may harm someone (if needed — not all clients require this);

  • Increase life satisfaction and reduce/manage mental health symptoms that may come from the judgment of others and society because of your attractions;

  • Have a safe space to process and understand more about your attractions and thoughts;

  • Learn how to live an authentic, and healthy, life with uncommon attractions without harm to yourself or others (Jess does not assume everyone struggles with this).

You are more than who/what you are attracted to.

The bottom line is…

Imagine a life where…

You feel a deep sense of self-acceptance, no longer weighed down by shame or guilt about your uncommon attractions.

You enjoy open and honest communication with your partner(s), fostering trust and understanding in your relationship(s).

You experience greater peace of mind, knowing that your attractions don’t define your worth or value as a person.

You confidently embrace your unique desires, feeling free to explore them in a healthy, consensual way.

You build stronger, more authentic relationships, where you feel understood and accepted for who you truly are.

Acceptance is possible.

I’m here to help you live authentically.

FAQs

  • Paraphilia refers to atypical sexual interests or preferences that may deviate from societal norms. It becomes a concern when these interests cause distress, impairment, or potential harm to oneself or others. Sex Therapist Jess can help you explore and understand your feelings and provide guidance on whether intervention is necessary.

  • Paraphilic attractions vary among individuals, and many people may experience unconventional sexual interests. You are not alone, and seeking support is a positive step towards understanding and addressing your concerns.

  • Approach the conversation with honesty and openness. Mental health professionals are trained to handle sensitive topics, and they are there to support you. Be prepared to share your feelings, concerns, and any impact on your life or relationships.

  • Yes, therapy can be beneficial in addressing the impact of paraphilic attractions on relationships. A qualified therapist can help you and your partner(s) navigate these concerns, fostering open communication and understanding.

  • If you have concerns about legal implications, it's essential to consult with a legal professional who specializes in sexual health issues. They can provide guidance on relevant laws, regulations, and potential legal consequences associated with specific paraphilic attractions. Sex Therapist Jess will educate you on the laws applicable in your state that she is professionally licensed in before you start treatment, and during, if applicable.