YOU NO LONGER NEED TO LIVE IN SECRET

Therapy for Problematic Sexual Behavior

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

You’re tired of feeling like you’re living a double life.

Your sexuality should not cause shame or hurt.

Problematic Sexual Behavior is just as it sounds...feeling your sexual behavior(s) have become problematic and feel out of control. This is a struggle that many people, across all genders and sexual orientations, share.

You’ve been dealing with problematic sexual behavior for too long; carrying the confusing burden of living a secret life but enjoying it when you’re in it. When you are not in it, you experience a sense of guilt or shame, worrying about how your behavior will affect your relationships with loved ones, and yourself, and what it could do to other aspects of your life if people found out. You find yourself hiding your actions, creating a cycle of secrecy and isolation, not sure how to get out, as you swore the last time would be the last time. These behaviors might be starting to impact your work, disrupt your daily routines, and even harm your health. If you have a partner, you might notice increased tension and a lack of intimacy, causing you to feel even more alone and that sexual behavior is the only way you can feel good anymore.

Does this sound familiar?

You feel that if anyone found out about what you've done (or continue to do), think, and fantasize about, they'd leave you, judge you, or just wouldn't understand the allure. So keeping it secret is the only option you feel you have.
Your intimacy and connectedness with your partner(s) feels like it is reuptured -- or completely missing -- and your behaviors, thoughts, and fantasies provide you (at least temporarily) with the feel good feelings you're missing in your relationship(s).

You spend a considerable amount of time, energy, and money on your behaviors, thoughts, and living out the fantasies in some way, that it is making you worried about your job, stability, and feel exhausted afterward.
While in the moment the behaviors, thoughts, or fantasies may feel thrilling, erotic, and fun, but afterward (and in some cases before or during) you crash into a pit of shame and guilt. How can something that brings you so much pleasure be attached to so much pain?
"This is going to be the last time" and "I can stop this at any time" -- these have been things you've said to yourself many times over, but then feel a sense of hopelessness when it happens again.
Despite the negative after-effects, the risk to your and your partner(s) health, connection, or the pile of broken promises to yourself and others, you feel like you cannot stop.
Concentrating has become difficult ... You are feeling disconnected from your loved ones ... Hiding your behaviors becomes exhausting, having to remember what you've told people, how to cover your tracks ... You feel sad this has gotten this far but just can't seem to stop.

You can regain balance with your sexuality.

You have the keys to success already within you to work to identify the underlying triggers and patterns that lead to your problematic behavior, giving you greater control over your actions, freeing you from living that “second life,” hidden from everyone. Rebuilding damaged relationships is also part of your healing process. By fostering open communication and showing a willingness to change, you create deeper connections with those around you. Setting clear boundaries and realistic goals helps you to maintain a balanced and fulfilling life, bringing your sexuality to a place of pleasure and fulfillment, rather than secrecy and shame. As you embrace a new sexual identity that reflects your healthier, more balanced, approach to all forms of intimacy, you begin to experience greater self-acceptance and deeper intimate connections. Developing healthier coping mechanisms—like mindfulness practices, exercise, or other positive outlets—you can find that stress and anxiety become more manageable without resorting to behaviors that feel they create more problems to your problems, rather than solutions.

You no longer have to live this secret life.

By embracing open communication, practicing vulnerability, and understanding the “why” behind your problematic behavior, you can begin to restore intimacy and trust in your relationships and build deeper connections with others. As you set clear boundaries and work toward a more balanced approach to your sexuality, you create space for more fulfilling, meaningful connections, free from guilt and secrecy. This journey requires patience and persistence, but with Jess supporting you, and a commitment to change, you can achieve a healthier and more satisfying life and sexual experiences. You can regain a sense of balance with your sexuality, no longer feeling it is causing you more problems in your life than the brief moments of pleasure.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE