YOU ARE NOT BROKEN

Therapy for Arousal & Desire Difficulties

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

Things aren’t what they used to be.

Your desire for sex has changed and your body isn’t responding as it used to.

You find yourself feeling disconnected from your partner, struggling with a lack of desire or difficulty becoming aroused. These challenges create a feeling of distance, making intimacy feel like a chore rather than a shared, pleasurable experience. You may worry that your partner(s) feels rejected or unloved (or they have expressed this to you), which can lead to frustration and tension in the relationship, often the cause of arguments. Over time, this disconnect can chip away at the closeness you once enjoyed, leaving you feeling isolated and uncertain about the future of your relationship(s).

On a personal level, these struggles are taking a toll on your self-esteem. You might have begun to question your worth, feeling as though something is wrong with you or that you’re not enough. This self-doubt seeps into other areas of your life, making you feel less confident and more anxious, overwhelmed, embarrassed, or even ashamed.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You find yourself feeling less interested in sexual activities than you used to be, even if you are in a relationship or have a supportive partner.

  • You are noticing that when sexual situations or initiations arise, your body doesn't respond the way it used to -- sometimes involuntarily pulling you away from the touch.

  • You sometimes (or now it is an 'all the time') feel disconnected from your partner(s) because of this lack of desire to be sexual. It leads to tension, arguments, misunderstandings, and just makes you want to avoid anything to do with intimacy altogether, just to avoid the fight and tension.

  • You worry that something might be wrong with you or your body that is causing these issues and changes. It feels hopeless that things will ever change, which only leaves you feeling anxious and makes it even harder to want to be sexual.

  • It seems your orgasms are less intense, not as easy to obtain, and you feel helpless in figuring out what is going on and how to bring them back.

    Or maybe you are unsure if you've ever had one, leaving you feeling left out and wondering if it is even possible for you to achieve them.

Your current sexual struggles do not have to define your pleasure’s future.

You might feel like you're stuck in a rut, and the lack of sexual desire or arousal could leave you questioning if things will ever change. But it's important to know that you're not destined to feel this way forever. Despite what it may feel like, or what your partner(s) may say, the changes you have been experiencing in your desire and arousal levels do not mean you are broken! These aspects of ourselves will often ebb and flow throughout our lifetimes and can be influenced by various external factors: stress, body changes, hormone changes, sexual preferences, bad breath, time of the month, feelings of the bedsheets, and many, many other things. This does not mean something is wrong with you! (Nor does it mean something is wrong with your partner, either, if they want sex differently than you do.) It just means things are different.


By exploring what's underneath these changes with curiosity and compassion, you can find ways to reconnect with yourself and your partner(s).

It's okay to take things at your own pace and to seek help in uncovering what might be affecting your sexual desire. With support, you can discover new ways to reignite the spark, fostering a sense of comfort and rejuvenation in your intimate relationship(s). Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and there's hope for a more connected and fulfilling sexual experience. 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE

Therapy for arousal & desire difficulties can help you:

  • Broaden your understanding of what is causing some of the changes in your desire and/or arousal;

  • To remove some of the societal “gunk” that might be getting in the way of your pleasure-receiving by removing the shame and/or guilt attached to sexuality;

  • Begin to find your true sexual voice and express your needs and wants for your sex life in an assertive way to yourself and your partner(s);

  • Strengthen your relationship(s) by broadening the definition of what it means to “be sexual” with your partner(s) — or yourself;

  • To feel like your sex life is something you want to do rather than something you have to do;

  • Begin to focus on, and experience, pleasure with yourself and/or your partner(s);

  • Understand what changes your body is going through so you can redefine how to be sexual with yourself and/or your partner(s).

You have the ability to redefine your sexual pleasure and desire.

The bottom line is…

Imagine a life where…

  • You rediscover the joy of physical intimacy, feeling connected and fulfilled in your relationships.

  • You experience a natural, healthy desire that brings excitement and satisfaction to your life.

  • You feel confident and at ease in your body, free from the frustrations of arousal difficulties.

  • You enjoy a deeper emotional and physical connection with your partner(s), without the stress or anxiety of sexual challenges.

  • You embrace your sexuality with confidence, finding pleasure and joy in moments of intimacy.

Desire is possible.

I’m here to help you rediscover how to get it back in a way that feels good.

FAQs

  • There can be various reasons for a decrease in sexual desire or arousal, including stress, relationship issues, hormonal changes, medical conditions, or medication side effects. Understanding the underlying cause is crucial for addressing the issue effectively.

  • If you notice a persistent and significant change in your sexual desire or arousal that is causing distress, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can help identify the root cause and provide guidance on potential solutions or treatments.

  • No! You are not broken. Your body is likely communicating to you, through the "not going to go there"-signals of the desire & arousal issues of other things happening. If not a medical cause, often it is some underlying mental health, stress-related, sex-negative messaging, mood issue, and/or interpersonal struggle.

    Together we can work on understanding the "why" and helping you redefine what (and how) feel good.

  • Mental health and emotional well-being are closely linked to sexual desire and arousal. Conditions like anxiety, depression, or past trauma can impact one's sexual health. Seeking support from a mental health professional alongside addressing any physical factors can contribute to a holistic approach to sexual well-being.