YOU NO LONGER NEED TO LIVE IN SECRET

Therapy for Problematic Sexual Behavior

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

Your sexual interests are nothing to be ashamed of.

Your sexuality should not cause shame or guilt.

Experiencing struggles with sexual kinks, you might feel a mix of excitement and fear about your desires. You may worry about how your partner will react if you share this part of yourself, leading to a sense of shame or isolation. The fear of being judged or misunderstood can hold you back from fully enjoying intimacy, causing tension or distance in your relationship, or making you feel something is “weird” about you for liking the kink. You might feel like you're hiding a part of who you are, which can lead to frustration and a sense of disconnect from your partner and your authentic sexual self.

Having difficulties with a sexual fetish, you may struggle with feelings of confusion or guilt over the specific fetish, especially if you don’t understand why these specific objects or scenarios are arousing to you. This can impact your self-esteem, making you feel as though something is wrong with you or that your desires are too different to be accepted. You might feel isolated or worried about being open with your partner, which can create barriers to intimacy and connection. Over time, these feelings can weigh heavily on you, affecting your overall sense of well-being and your ability to fully enjoy your sexual experiences or the fetish feels like it has become the only way you can experience sexual satisfaction and arousal with yourself or partner(s) and this is causing stress.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You feel that if anyone found out about what you're into, think about, and fantasize about, they'd judge you and just wouldn't understand the allure. So keeping it secret is the only option you feel you have, but wishing it could be shared with others is also within you.

  • While it can be very erotically exciting and stimulating, you think you're the only one who thinks this way and really don't know why you're attracted to what you're attracted to, or where it could have come from. You are uncertain what this means about who you are and if others would accept you.

  • Even though you find it so erotic and alluring, you feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty for having the attraction. This often causes you to keep your fantasies or behavior in secret, keeping it from your partner(s) and wondering if things could "just be a bit better" if the kink or fetish was involved.

  • "If they knew I liked this, they'd think I was weird!" -- These judgment-based thoughts about your sexual kink or fetish often leave you feeling embarrassed, so you are really not sure how to bring it up, for fear they'd judge you or reject you.

Your sexual interests are worthy of celebration!

What we end up being attracted to and find ourselves erotically aligned to, is not often understood clearly in the research. Even the latest science cannot, for certain, identify the “whys” we find ourselves attracted to things that others do not. Rather than this being a negative, Jess feels this is something to be celebrated, as it is another indication that you are you — and you are unique and beautiful in all aspects!

Sex Therapist Jess helps her clients explore their sexual attractions, wants, and desires through talk-based psychotherapy and helps them to fully embrace these aspects of themselves. Sometimes this work involves processing and understanding ways to healthily incorporate this into a person’s “sexual repertoire.” Other times it is simply allowing a non-judgmental place to begin to accept that is a part of who you are — and it is wonderful! Talk-based sex therapy can help you discover how your sexuality and sexual attractions make you unique and are a part of the beautifully woven tapestry that is your sexual identity.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE

Therapy for kinks & fetishes can help you:

  • Learn more about your personal sexual desires and interests;

  • Learn to accept these sexual desires and interests as an integral part of yourself — that is worth celebrating;

  • Learn how to communicate to your partner(s) this aspect of your sexual self;

  • Use healthy communication to find a possible balance and incorporation within your relationship(s) sexual experiences that embrace your interests (and respects the boundaries and consent of all involved);

  • Expand upon your sexual repertoire for yourself and your relationship(s) to help add more variety and excitement to your intimacy.

Everyone one of us has unique sexual interests and attractions — and that’s okay.

The bottom line is…

Imagine a life where…

  • You confidently embrace your kinks and fetishes, feeling empowered and accepted in your sexual identity.

  • You enjoy open and honest communication with your partner, creating a deeper sense of trust and connection.

  • You experience pleasure and fulfillment in your sexual exploration, free from guilt or shame.

  • You feel at ease with your desires, allowing you to fully enjoy intimate moments without fear of judgment.

  • You build a stronger, more authentic relationship with yourself and others, embracing every aspect of your sexuality.

Celebration is possible.

I’m here to help you accept all part of yourself.

FAQs

  • Sexual preferences vary widely among individuals, and many people have unique fetishes or kinks. It's important to recognize that diversity in sexual interests is normal, and there is a wide range of preferences within the broader spectrum of human sexuality.

  • Yes, it's entirely possible to have a satisfying sexual relationship while incorporating elements of both conventional ("vanilla") and unconventional preferences. Open communication with your partner is key to finding a balance that meets both of your needs and desires.

  • Sexual preferences, including fetishes and kinks, can evolve over time. Factors such as life experiences, personal growth, and changes in relationships may influence these preferences. It's essential to stay open to self-discovery and communicate with your partner as your desires evolve. It is also common if a fetish or kink stays throughout a person's life; it is all dependent upon the individual and their experiences.

  • If your fetish or kink is causing distress or negatively impacting your daily life, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a mental health professional or a sex therapist. They can provide support, explore potential underlying issues, and help you develop coping strategies.